I think it’s safe to say that we have all found ourselves in a frustrating state of mind at one point or another. Maybe you are in a season of waiting, a season of heartbreak, a season of dealing with a three-year old toddler or a rebellious teenager. In every season, there are ups and there are downs.
During this particular season of my life, I found myself frustrated and running out of patience with my situation. I began praying for something months before and tried my best to keep a positive outlook, but everything seemed to be against me. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, there was no glimmer of hope and this situation seemed to get worse and worse by the day.
I was tired, frustrated and ready to give up, but I wasn’t going to do that without a fight. Let’s just say my Latina, as my husband calls it, was about to come out. I was about to take matters into my own hands and handle the situation my way. The enemy was trying hard to convince me that my situation wasn’t at the top of God’s list and I was entitled to take matters into my own hands. I needed a quick fix and God wasn’t giving me the quick fix I needed.
I was bombarded by my thoughts, insecurities, feelings and frustrations. As I sat there about to lose it, I looked over at my devotional book and picked it up. I turned to the reading for the day and read the following:
“Dear Lord, Don’t let me give into my fears. Instead, stand in front of me and let me see the peace I crave. Amen.”
I put my book down and went on with my day. Later in the afternoon, something happened that allowed me to experience a glimmer of hope and see a little light at the end of the tunnel. God didn’t answer my prayer that day, but He did give me hope through the means of a conversation. This conversation allowed me to see that I was about to make a huge mistake. And God knew this. He knew that I was about to possibly make my situation much worse than it was and He stood in front of me and reminded me that I needed to trust in Him.
When we grow weary we begin to take our focus off God. As for me, I realized that I was letting fear rule my heart and my life. I feared what could be. Feared that the end result would not be what I wanted. I was fixated on my situation and I imagined all of the worst case scenarios.
God made me see that day that He is still at work around me. He is working all things for good no matter how hopeless a situation may feel. I took this as His response to continue to wait and so that day, I backed off. I thanked God for standing in front of me and letting me see the peace I needed.
Dear friend, I don’t know what your situation is. I don’t know what season you find yourself in. But I get it. I may not be going through what you are going through, but I’ve experienced my share of pain, regret, loss, financial hardship, rejection and so much more. I know how it feels to beg and plead God to answer, only to feel like He isn’t listening.
I think of the story of Hannah. As she poured out her heart to God, Eli watched her and thought she was drunk. In 1 Samuel 1:15-16 she replies,
“I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.”
I’m not sure the exact number of years that Hannah prayed for a son, but God did grant her request. He answered at the right time. And He will do the same for you and for me. I know we are human and if you are like me, I can be very impatient. But instead of taking matters into our own hands we need to stop and ask ourselves, “what is my focus on?” Turn on the worship music, read the Bible, pray and give Him thanks! Surround yourself with Jesus and ask Him to bring you the peace you crave. Don’t look at your situation as the end. Look at it as the means that God is using to make you an incredible woman.
As my devotional said, “choosing to trust God changes my perspective and gives me the strength to persevere.” Choose to trust Him, friend. Even when the odds are stacked against you, even in the pit you find yourself in, even in the regret, heartbreak and loss, choose Him. He is there for you. He will turn your mourning into dancing and lift you up again.
Dear Lord. Thank you for standing in front of us and keeping us from making some of the greatest mistakes. But also, thank you for loving us when we end up making the wrong decision and find ourselves living out the consequences. You are so good to us. You are faithful in your promises and gracious to forgive us time and time again. I pray for my sisters who find themselves in situations that may seem hopeless. I pray that you will stand in front of them and go before them. I pray that they will turn their eyes back to you and ignore all of the whispers from the enemy. Help their unbelief and allow them to see you in every situation. In Jesus name, Amen.
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3